This week I will be attempting to create a found poem using text from my Creative Nonfiction Essay entitled The Wake Up Call.
The Wake Up Call
My car comes to a screeching halt.
Tears streaming down my face and I’m gasping for air
“My husband….. in the car ….. please help.”
“Assistance needed at the emergency room entrance, we have an unresponsive male”.
I watched as blue scrubs and white jackets ran to my car
“I have a pulse, but its weak”
“Ma’am you need to stay here we will call you in when he is stable.”
**************************************************************************
I am awaken to the loud beeping of the alarm at 6:15am
I pull myself out of bed
I head into work
I quickly realize that it is Friday, bills are due
I look at the negative balance on the screen
My pulse quickens I feel moisture forming in my palms
Why hasn't his check been deposited?
How the hell am I gonna pay bills?
I need to ask Dan what the hell is going on
I text him “There is an issue, I need you to call me ASAP”
My phone vibrates. I open the text and read:
“Im sorry, your car is parked on the side of your building, your keys are in the glove box, and there is a letter explaining everything, I love you and DJ goodbye.”
thoughts are racing none My chest is tight I can hear my heart beat in my ears.
My heart sinks,
I see just enough of my car to know its mine.
I hear the faint tapping of the car settling.
I see a legal pad sitting face up on the passenger seat.
I grab the pad of paper and begin to read:
I just want to start out by saying thank you. Thank you for loving me unconditionally and always having my back but I don't deserve it. I fucked up again and I’m sorry. I lost my job 2 weeks ago I tried so many times to tell you but I couldn't do it. I couldn't bear the thought of disappointing you again. I let you and DJ down AGAIN and I can’t tell you how sorry I am. You always clean up my messes and now it ends. Please tell DJ I love him and I’m sorry I couldn't be stronger for him. He deserves so much better then me and so do you. I don't deserve you. I hope one day you both find peace and understand you guys are better off without me. I love you guys and again I’m sorry.
Please don't try and reach me I’m already gone.
I’m crying uncontrollably
my tires squeal pulling out of the parking space
I call him repeatedly getting no response
I drive in circles desperately trying to find him
Today I'm gonna lose my husband and kill my son
Please GOD if you help him it will restore my faith in you
Everything was quiet maybe one or two cars on the road
I drove up and down the street then a white figure caught my eye.
I swerved over 2 lanes
pulled up on a curb
came to a screeching halt.
I was relieved for a split second
I had found him
I had found my husband
I had found Dan
laying on the ground extremely pale
very sweaty dipping in and out of consciousness
Next to him were two empty prescription bottles
I shook him hard and tried to pull him up
his eyes fluttered open
he pushed my hands away slurred for me to leave him
I somehow found the strength to get 170lbs of dead weight into my car
His breathing was slowing and his eyes wouldn't open any more
I raced to the hospital blowing lights
swerving around cars
begging him to stay with me the whole drive.
**************************************************************************
My insides quiver
I pace back and forth
there is a pit in my stomach,
Has there been any update on my husband?
Ma’am, as soon as I know something, I will let you know
I went back to pacing
my eyes never left the floor.
You’re husband is stable Mrs. Hutton
But he’s not out of the woods yet
I let out a breath that I must have been holding for a while
I lift my head to finally look at this broken man in front of me
My Husband Dan
the man that promised to love me
protect me until the end of time.
His eyes are closed his face pale white his lips dry and chapped
wires and tubes attached all around him.
wearing the only the conventional blue hospital gown
everything else could be a safety risk
Dr. Lutz explained my husband would make a
FULL RECOVERY
On this day my marriage was over
He never once considered
how taking his life would effect me or
most importantly how it would effect OUR SON
The Wake Up Call
My car comes to a screeching halt.
Tears streaming down my face and I’m gasping for air
“My husband….. in the car ….. please help.”
“Assistance needed at the emergency room entrance, we have an unresponsive male”.
I watched as blue scrubs and white jackets ran to my car
“I have a pulse, but its weak”
“Ma’am you need to stay here we will call you in when he is stable.”
**************************************************************************
I am awaken to the loud beeping of the alarm at 6:15am
I pull myself out of bed
I head into work
I quickly realize that it is Friday, bills are due
I look at the negative balance on the screen
My pulse quickens I feel moisture forming in my palms
Why hasn't his check been deposited?
How the hell am I gonna pay bills?
I need to ask Dan what the hell is going on
I text him “There is an issue, I need you to call me ASAP”
My phone vibrates. I open the text and read:
“Im sorry, your car is parked on the side of your building, your keys are in the glove box, and there is a letter explaining everything, I love you and DJ goodbye.”
thoughts are racing none My chest is tight I can hear my heart beat in my ears.
My heart sinks,
I see just enough of my car to know its mine.
I hear the faint tapping of the car settling.
I see a legal pad sitting face up on the passenger seat.
I grab the pad of paper and begin to read:
I just want to start out by saying thank you. Thank you for loving me unconditionally and always having my back but I don't deserve it. I fucked up again and I’m sorry. I lost my job 2 weeks ago I tried so many times to tell you but I couldn't do it. I couldn't bear the thought of disappointing you again. I let you and DJ down AGAIN and I can’t tell you how sorry I am. You always clean up my messes and now it ends. Please tell DJ I love him and I’m sorry I couldn't be stronger for him. He deserves so much better then me and so do you. I don't deserve you. I hope one day you both find peace and understand you guys are better off without me. I love you guys and again I’m sorry.
Please don't try and reach me I’m already gone.
I’m crying uncontrollably
my tires squeal pulling out of the parking space
I call him repeatedly getting no response
I drive in circles desperately trying to find him
Today I'm gonna lose my husband and kill my son
Please GOD if you help him it will restore my faith in you
Everything was quiet maybe one or two cars on the road
I drove up and down the street then a white figure caught my eye.
I swerved over 2 lanes
pulled up on a curb
came to a screeching halt.
I was relieved for a split second
I had found him
I had found my husband
I had found Dan
laying on the ground extremely pale
very sweaty dipping in and out of consciousness
Next to him were two empty prescription bottles
I shook him hard and tried to pull him up
his eyes fluttered open
he pushed my hands away slurred for me to leave him
I somehow found the strength to get 170lbs of dead weight into my car
His breathing was slowing and his eyes wouldn't open any more
I raced to the hospital blowing lights
swerving around cars
begging him to stay with me the whole drive.
**************************************************************************
My insides quiver
I pace back and forth
there is a pit in my stomach,
Has there been any update on my husband?
Ma’am, as soon as I know something, I will let you know
I went back to pacing
my eyes never left the floor.
You’re husband is stable Mrs. Hutton
But he’s not out of the woods yet
I let out a breath that I must have been holding for a while
I lift my head to finally look at this broken man in front of me
My Husband Dan
the man that promised to love me
protect me until the end of time.
His eyes are closed his face pale white his lips dry and chapped
wires and tubes attached all around him.
wearing the only the conventional blue hospital gown
everything else could be a safety risk
Dr. Lutz explained my husband would make a
FULL RECOVERY
On this day my marriage was over
He never once considered
how taking his life would effect me or
most importantly how it would effect OUR SON